Joyful Pain of Sadness
by LovelessEgoist
Summary: This is a poem about Usami Akihiko-sensei's unrequited love for Misaki's older brother Takahiro...and Takahiro's such a blockhead that he HAD to get married to someone else without a clue....SLIGHT hints of yaoi or maybe just intimacy...


Hey! this is my first fanfic poem, EVER. So please review and I'm always open to opinions...I'm only 14, so yurushite kudasai! T-T

I just felt like writing this for no apparent reason, and amazingly, I think it's okay... And another thing, this fanfic poem is about Usami Akihiko-sensei of Junjo Romantica and the hurt he felt whenever his former crush, (Misaki's older brother) Takahiro is simply a blockhead, did not realise his feelings and soon got married to someone else with no clue...

No flames onegaimasu! u

Original Manga: Junjo Romantica by Shungiku Nakamura

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjo Romantica or any of its characters or part of its storyline in any way...

Warning: SLIGHT yaoi references, but I really can't tell if it or not, I just think it's intimate in some phrases...

Joyful Pain of Sadness 

I wonder if love can bloom in the darkness?

Even if against all the odds that can exist in this world

I wonder if love can speak for what's hidden?

Even create and inflict pain and sorrow

I wonder if love can be the greatest feeling?

Even when it leaves you empty and alone

I wonder if love weaves its way through troubles?

Even soon getting tangled and had to be cut

I wonder if love is possible if you are true?

Even when it betrays you, making you nothing but blue

I wonder…am I in love?

Even if, it is unrequited, but it is love in one way

A hopeless trick I play on myself,

Because the truth is worse than a thousand needle pricks

Even my lack of presence makes no difference,

I will keep going, like cutting myself over and over

All that would ever come out ifs false hope,

That which I am ridiculously addicted to

Every smile, every word, and every touch gives me

A stabbing pain of happiness, penetrating my heart

There is no cure, but an escape I'll never use

I will cry in joy and heartbreak, until my tears run out

That my heart enjoys the false joy out of pain

Though it's a stain in my memories,

I will never forget nor regret

The feeling I would give anything for,

I only felt it once then it was gone

I smile but why are there tears on my cheek?

The feeling I wanted but not deserved

The warmth that I was never allowed to experience

An unforgettable memory that only brings me pain,

I will never wish to take back at any cost

It does nothing but tear me apart,

Seeing my love being thrown away

My heart toying with itself, hoping and crying

Though I know nothing will happen,

I will watch my tears fall like the petals of the cherry blossoms…

It is tempting but I will not run to someone else because my heart is alone,

Because thinking of them brings me more joy than he can ever give, no matter what

Their memory is engraved in my heart,

The very shape of my feelings, and my life

Trapping myself in someone else's love endlessly, trying to ease the pain

But hence, my heart yearns for the unreachable

It bleeds with joy not sorrow, uncontrollably

I know the future bears no fruit,

But I will be happy with even if it is rotten

Hearing them say someone else's name with a tone of love

I'd shut my ears and pretend it was mine instead

Though I didn't need to do that, they say it freely

But I know it has no meaning, no feeling

A group of lies I will always love hearing even if each on stabs my heart.

A hidden pain, deep amongst the flesh they once touched

One memory, one love, millions of pain

Though I can only love them from afar, I'm glad

Though their eyes will never meet mine like that again,

And your touch will never be the same forever,

I will never forget the warmth of your arms

All I can love now are objects of my fantasy,

Loving me back only in the depths of my mind.

Having the same dream over and over,

Reliving the memory, waking up in sweat…

Thinking their next to me, but when I open the lamp all I find are pillows

"Just being at the side of the person I love is more, even if only as a friend, is a privilege….

…because they're my most precious, I fear them loathing me all the more…"

-Usami Akihiko, _Junjo Romantica_


End file.
